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INSIDE THE SYSTEM
They should get a compass

March 1, 2002 | Page 4

ABOUT 20 Royal Marines accidentally strayed off course during training exercises off the coast of Gibraltar--and ended up storming a beach in Spain.

The soldiers were carrying 60mm mortars and SA80 assault rifles and took up positions on the beach. But instead of being fired on with blank rounds by fellow British soldiers pretending to be the enemy, the directionally challenged marines found themselves being stared at by startled local fishermen.

According to a British Ministry of Defense spokesperson, the marines "disembarked for about five minutes and then the error was recognized and they all withdrew."

--Guardian, February 19, 2002

Heard it through the grapevine

"WE NEED to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."
--Right-wing commentator Ann Coulter

"HOW DO we know we need $48 billion since we don't know what we're spending and what we're buying?"
--Retired Vice Adm. Jack Shanahan, on proposed military budget increases

"[ISLAM] is not a peaceful religion that wants to coexist. They want to coexist until they can control, dominate and then if need be destroy."
--Televangelist Pat Robertson

"ISLAM IS a religion in which God requires you to send your son to die for him. Christianity is a faith in which God sends his son to die for you."
--Attorney General John Ashcroft

"I'M A free trader. I will work to end terriers and barriffs everywhere, across the world."
--George W. Bush

"SENATOR, I started my life in a house without water or electricity. So I don't cede to you the high moral ground of not knowing what life is like in a ditch."
--Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill to Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W. Va.) at a budget hearing

"WELL, MR. Secretary, I lived in a house without electricity, too. No running water, no telephone…I can stand toe-to-toe with you."
--Sen. Robert Byrd, responding to O'Neill

"OBVIOUSLY, IF he knew that something was going on with the company, he wouldn't have cashed, you know, all of his stocks."
--Daughter of former Enron CEO Ken Lay, defending dad on NBC's Today show after he sold more than $101 million of company stock before Enron collapsed

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