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Inside the system

June 13, 2003 | Page 4

No foreigners need apply

MASSACHUSSETTS House Minority Leader Bradley Jones has a novel approach to stopping terrorism. Under legislation that the Republican lawmaker recently introduced, students at public colleges and universities who hail from seven "terrorism-sponsoring" nations (Iraq, Iran, Syria, Libya, Cuba, North Korea and Sudan) would be summarily ejected.

"If Saddam wants to send [his sons] Uday or Qusay over to go to UMass-Amherst, I would like to say we don't accept them," said Jones.

Modeled after a similar proposal in Indiana, Jones' bill would ban any new state college enrollees from the blacklisted countries-and force existing students to finish the semester and pack their bags. At least 42 current students would face expulsion under the bill, including 18 from Iran, 10 from North Korea, six from Sudan, two from Libya, and three apiece from Cuba and Syria.

But according to Jones, students could avoid being kicked to the curb by disavowing their homeland and converting to U.S. citizenry. "This is a pretty exclusive list, and I don't think you get on that list by shooting spitballs across the table at UN meetings at Colin Powell,'' Jones said.

--Boston Herald, May 29, 2003

Laid off by mobile phone

HUNDREDS OF employees at the British company Amulet Group discovered that they were about to be laid off when those with company mobile phones were sent a text message saying that their salaries would not be paid.

The group, which provides legal expenses insurance for personal injury claims, has been placed in administration (similar to bankruptcy), with the accountants' firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers in charge. Nearly 2,500 employees at a subsidiary were told of their fate by a text message with a number to call at the head office.

An answering machine message said: "All staff who are being retained will be contacted today. If you have not been spoken to you are therefore being made redundant with immediate effect."

--BBC, May 30, 2003

Heard it through the grapevine

"THE FIRST time I met Bush, I knew he was different. Two things became clear. One, he didn't know very much. The other was he had the confidence to ask questions that revealed he didn't know very much."
--Pentagon adviser Richard Perle, on George W. Bush

"OFTENTIMES, WE live in a processed world-you know, people focus on the process and not results."
--George W. Bush

"SHUT UP! You had your 35 minutes. Shut up!"
--Irate right-wing talk show host Bill O'Reilly, responding to comedian Al Franken, whose new book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, features O'Reilly prominently

"THIS ISN'T your show, Bill."
--Al Franken, to O'Reilly

"I KNOW I'm pretty, but it means I have to work even harder."
--Multi-millionaire hotel heiress Paris Hilton

"GOD KNOWS we need help."
--Karen Marchioro, leader of the Western caucus of the Democratic National Committee, on the state of the party

"IT'S LIKE the Texas you see in the movies."
--Enas Hamdani, an Iraqi doctor, on lawlessness in Iraq since the war and occupation

"THERE ARE a lot of other things that are more important than that. To me, it's a little difficult to give tax relief to people that don't pay income tax."
--House Majority Leader Tom Delay, refusing to allow the House to consider restoring the $400 child tax credit for low-income families that the Bush administration eliminated

"I THINK we have good control, but we may need to police up some meatheads."
--Third Infantry Brig. Gen. Lloyd Austin, on policing Iraq

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