Too soon?

Socialist Worker's Danny Katch, author of Socialism...Seriously: A Brief Guide to Human Liberation, catches you up on news you wished you missed this time.

This Week in Capitalism | By Danny Katch (Eric Ruder | SW)

JUST WHEN you thought that 2016 couldn't get any worse...oops, there I go again, still saying 2016 instead of Year One of the Time of Incredible Greatness. I'm such a space cadet sometimes!

I'm still in shock that Trump won, so much so that I keep forgetting that he actually didn't. At least not in the sense--and I know I'm being technical here--of getting more votes than his opponent.

Hillary Clinton actually won the popular vote, but Trump won the bizarre system that no other country has called the Electoral College, which was created 200 years ago to give slave owners an advantage in presidential elections. The same winner-lost-the-White-House scenario happened in 2000, which means that two out of five presidential elections so far this century have been won by the person who lost.

And not just any losers, but George Freaking Bush and Donald Motherf***ing Trump.

If this doesn't get liberals on board with slavery reparations, I don't know what will, because karma looks like it's coming for this country in a big way.

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TRUMP MAY not have won a majority, but he did win 47 percent of the vote, which makes no sense. That's like 47 percent of people choosing to eat shit. Why would they do that?

You have to remember that this was an election where two of the most unpopular candidates in the history of presidential elections ran against each other--a choice, if you will, between eating shit versus drinking piss. (If you're grossed out already, just skip ahead because this isn't going to get any better.)

It's a god-awful decision, but obviously most people would normally choose the piss. Sure, you have your hard core of irredeemably racist shit-eaters, but that's a relatively small minority. This time, though, after years of miserably swilling urine, a significant group of people seemed to say, "Screw it, nothing else seems to be working. Let's try eating the shit."

And those five words are how I'm always going to remember this election: "Let's try eating the shit."

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LET'S TALK for a second about Hillary Clinton. Now that she's lost, some supporters are starting to admit that maybe she was a "flawed candidate."

You think?

As Glenn Greenwald wrote, this is someone who spent her time after leaving government "piggishly running around to Wall Street banks and major corporations cashing in with $250,000 fees for 45-minute secret speeches," even though she was already rich from her husband doing the same thing after he left government.

Why would anyone do that knowing that they were soon going to run for president, and at a time of massive anger at Wall Street?

I honestly think she couldn't help herself--like she's someone with a gambling problem. The Clintons are literally addicted to cashing checks, even when it's obviously going to be a disaster for them in the long term. And the rest of the ruling class supported her, apparently blind to this massive character defect--because they all share it.

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NOW THE focus moves on to who will be in the Trump Cabinet. Beyond the big horrible names like Giuliani and Gingrich, there's an interesting pattern emerging in Trump's thinking. I honestly think he's choosing people based on their names.

A leading candidate for Defense Secretary, according to the media, is former Sen. Jim Talent, apparently because Trump was finally convinced by his aides that Brigadier Gen. Rodrigo Victory is not an actual person.

For Secretary of the Interior, Trump is reportedly looking at Forrest Lucas. Sure, it's nice to put the founder of Lucas Oil in charge of protecting fragile ecosystems, but more importantly, there's something about the man that just makes Trump think of nature, even though he can't quite say why.

On the other hand, if you're Idaho Sen. Mike Crapo, don't hold your breath.